Yesterday I watched the same documentary about Stalingrad on the Hitler Channel I've seen five times before. Despite having a remote control in my hand, I couldn't be arsed to change the channel. History tells us that, when the apple fell on his head, Isaac Newton got up off his arse and invented gravity. Watching soap in a bath, surrounded by nude boys, Archimedes jumped to his feet, yelled "Eureka!" and lo, the triangle was born (I could be wrong here). Einstein, whilst working as a lowly clerk didn't, when he got home, flop down in a chair and spend the next four hours watching EuroSport. No, he proved lots of things about time, space, the Universe and all that jazz.I, on the other hand, couldn't even be bothered to press a small rubber button to save myself listening to Russians merrily explaining how they raped their way across eastern Germany back in the '40s.
Indulge me while I put forward the theory that I am what is wrong with this fucking country.
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