Banzai!

Wahey! I received this month’s edition of Classic Rock magazine this morning and I’m pleased to report an article I wrote called Rockstar Fantasyland has received a glowing review from a young chap called ‘Anon’. He gleefully gushes “The Rockstar Fantasyland piece by B P Perry was atrocious and in very bad taste … tut tut!” And you can’t say fairer than that now can you?

Elsewhere in the magazine Geoff Barton (if you imagine Scott Rowley as a power-hungry medieval king, Geoff would be his over-ambitious brother, one eye on the throne as he toys with his dagger) has wangled a holiday to Japan under the guise of following Iron Maiden about. Geoff had a great time trawling the karaoke bars and brothels of Tokyo and has come back to Blighty fully refreshed and raring to go as he embarks on his three week Christmas vacation.

Meanwhile Marc Eliot (a fiery tempered Welshmen with a series of upsetting facial ticks) tells the story of The Eagles’ Hotel ‘Bloody’ California. This perennial housewives’ favourite has inexplicably enjoyed a special place in the great unwashed's hearts for thirty years now – despite being rubbish. It’s an incredible achievement when one considers The Eagles were dead at the time of writing Hotel California, all sadly suffocated by their giant moustaches.

There’s also an article on The Moody Blues that’s (possibly) worth reading. As anyone who knows anything about music can tell you, The Moody Blues were the world’s fourth most pretentious wanky band – denied a place in the top three by the overbearing up-their-own-arseness of Yes, Genesis and Pink Floyd. The Moody Blues gave the world Justin Hayward who went on to record that willowy Autumn thingy on Jeff Wayne’s bonkers War Of The Worlds album. You always hear Hayward’s song at Christmas for some reason, despite the fact it has fuck-all to do with the festive season.

Finally the mad fools have published a Christmas story wot I wrote. It’s absolutely bloody filthy and I’ve already had complaints about it from some woman with nothing better to do with her time. Enjoy!

Oh yes … and I drew the CD cover.