The man upstairs (I've moved remember) smokes about six thousand kilograms of dope a day. As a result he has the loudest and most persistent cough I've ever heard. He rises at about 2:00 p.m. most days and after that (until about 4:00 in the fucking morning) it's just ...WAAAAGGGHH HU-HU-HUUURRGGGHH AHEM AHEM WAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHH U-HU HUM AHEM AHEM U-HU-U-HUUUUURGH
... as you can imagine, this hinders sleep somewhat ... as does the fucking cat he owns which spends the WHOLE BLOODY DAY running backwards and forwards across what's effectively our ceiling. I'm assuming the mangy thing hasn't been outside in the fresh air since 1997 and is being slowly driven mad by the ammonia fumes from the mountains of shit I presume to be littering its owner's floor. I'm sure it won't be long before I'm lying in the bath and the whole kit and caboodle comes crashing through the roof. This, I suspect will be my fate ... drowning under a hundredweight of cat crap and reefer butts.
0 comments:
Post a Comment